3 Lessons on the Power of Saying No

a reflective essay on how I learned to use my ability to say no

From 2019 to the beginning of 2023 I was desperate for any opportunity. DES-PURRRRR-ATE. I was putting my writing out in the world (via social media… which I don’t recommend). I was saying yes to any no-paying opportunity that came my way (I fell for the “all exposure is great exposure” lie). And I compared my journey with other folks who were more focused and successful than I was. I was doing the most for the least and I was a mess. My goal was to become a writer — a wildly successful writer — but I didn’t know how to pursue it. I was gullible and easy to exploit. Looking back on those years I must say how grateful I am for the protection of God and my ancestors. Without that covering I would’ve gotten myself in an ugly situation and convinced myself it was gospel. I was drowning in a sea of red flags.

Photo by bruno neurath-wilson on Unsplash

It took a long time for me to stop feeling desperate about every opportunity. I want to highlight three pieces of wisdom I gained from the Black women in my life who helped me become someone who cherishes the power of her “no.”

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