The Father I Had and the Father I Wanted

Or, Creating an New Theological Ethic from My Inner Child's Heartbreak

My calves are tired from walking on eggshells.

I didn’t know that I was formed by the eggshells of tension until my fourth therapist. I developed a pattern of interaction with each therapist intake appointment. They’d go through the questions on their questionnaire, I’d answer them, then they’d look up from their notes and ask me “does it feel like you’re walking on eggshells?” My answers varied…

I wouldn’t call it that.

Isn’t that normal?

Perhaps.

All the time, yes.

I didn’t realize that there were people who spent their entire lives not knowing the feeling of molding their actions and the mood of their caretaker. I didn’t know such freedom could exist.

Photo by Andrey K on Unsplash

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